Is it a coincidence that I am writing on the 2nd anniversary of my self-proclaimed rebirth? Maybe, maybe not...? Today's date wasn't what brought me to my computer.
After spending about half an hour listing everything that has happened to me this past year, I deleted the list.
It was long, and not very interesting, even to me.
There were lots of life events that happened in our family, my personal favorite just happened about 2 weeks ago. My first grandchild was born!
His name is Oliver! Each time I encounter him, he melts my heart and gives me those endorphins caused by unconditional love. I have learned that grandchildren cause grandparents to find hope once again.
Another milestone for me was that my mother now resides in a nursing home. Her dementia had reached an unsafe level for her physically, while an unsafe level emotionally and mentally for her children.
So many, too many, good and bad things happened over the past year; "The way life should be"....
One of the most emotionally overwhelming things for me, and for my siblings in their different ways, was spending 4 freezing cold winter months trying to clean out our childhood home. It was packed full of almost 60 years of "things and stuff".
Every single thing stunk of "Royal Blue" which is a name given to the scent (eventually it became an awful odor) of my parent's home by the grandchildren, many years ago.
Some stuff was organized, but most wasn't. Quite a bit of it was ruined or moldy, defeating the probable reason why each thing was "saved" to begin with.
My local sister and I were on the same wavelength from the very start. We both had spent way too much time in that dark house over the past few years, trying to please our stubborn parents and take care of them. We both had no attachment to anything from that house. Once in a while we'd come across something practical, but by time we got it to our homes (on top of the many boxes of crap we brought home to sort and shred) the Royal Blue smell made us physically ill.
Our local brother had spent more time than both of us taking care of our parents, but his nose wasn't as sensitive to the scent of Royal Blue. He did acknowledge he noticed it once in a while when he brought something home. He is also at a different stage of life than my sister and I, he's the youngest, and is still attached to his childhood home "stuff".
The two siblings who live out of state, who both helped tremendously in the ways they could, were much more sentimental about the house, and the family mementoes, to a point. They each claimed a couple of objects that meant a lot to them, so we made a point to save and/or send them to/for them.
The two important life lessons I learned in this entire process of becoming responsible for one's parents is:
1. I don't want to do this to my kids.
2. My favorite saying ever, for many years, still remains:
"The best 'things' in life AREN'T 'things'!!
This brings me to why I am writing, today.
I'm sure those around me are very tired of me saying " I hate stuff". I've been trying to sort and dispose of lots of old stuff of my own that we, the children raised by 'savers' (organized hoarders?) were taught to save.
I have no problem giving stuff away to people who want it. I usually have no problem donating stuff, or even throwing away obvious (to me) trash...most of the time.
But, every once in a while, a sentimental thing tugs at my heart and I have to use common sense and talk myself into letting it, the THING, go.
I saved some of my son's clothes from when he was an infant. He's 32, now. I saved them the way I was taught; in mothballs.
Before his baby was born, I found these sweet outfits and hand washed them 3 times to try to get rid of the mothball scent. I eventually gave them to my daughter-in-law, who took them home to try to wash them in a special laundry soap they were using for the baby clothes.
Yesterday, her mother told me they couldn't get the scent out, that maybe I could bring them back to my house and hang them on my clothesline to air them out? I agreed to.
The sun came out this morning, so I grabbed the bag of clothes to gently hand wash them and then hang them on the line...But, much to my disappointment, they all had some sort of new golden mustard type stains across them? I have no idea what caused this damage, but I spent all morning trying to get rid of the stains. I just realized haven't even noticed if the mothball scent still exists!?
My husband suggested I follow my own words and just let them go, they are only things. I can afford to buy new outfits for my grandson.
He is right.
After all, the best things in life aren't things.
