Crazy Card Lady
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, before emails, instant messages, texts, chat sites and other social networks, there were different ways to keep in touch with family and friends.
Even though nowadays, it's difficult to imagine the great amount of prep, time and effort it took to keep in touch: it was done.
Not to shock anyone, but a few of these ways of communication still exist, and are STILL being used.
For instance, in my lifetime*, a single land-line telephone was the most instant way of reaching someone, especially in case of emergency. (*I have never received a telegram, and "Party lines" were before my time, so, you'll have to research those experiences on your own..).
I grew up in a family of seven, where for many years, we had just one rotary wall telephone, which still hangs in my mother's kitchen. Eventually, my father obtained a pink rotary desk phone, which he had (a friend, I presume) connect in a bedroom, upstairs (not mine..).
Of course, we didn't have caller-ID, I still don't have caller ID on my current landline, much to the phone company's disappointment, but there is always *69. Nor did we have an answering machine (an answering machine is my method of weeding out salespeople who disregard the "Do not call" list). Back then, we answered every call.
We learned phone etiquette; took and wrote down messages for others, learned how to limit and share the phone line. My father was insistent that we kept the calls short: his explanation always was that he was "expecting a call from
Washington...George Washington!"...then he would laugh at his own cleverness while his oldest teenage daughter ("moi") would sulk and/or pout...probably both.
Another method of communicating was writing a letter, on paper, by hand. Longhand, in my case. When many of my girlfriends moved away from this town full of upwardly mobile transients, we would keep in touch by writing letters. We would seal the envelopes with big clumps of sealing wax. I can't imagine what those clumps did to machines of the post offices, but the letters always seemed to make it to their destinations. A reply, with just as many clumps (and colorful, hardened drips forming a heart or smiley face) would arrive within a week or so.
When my sister and I were young mothers, she would spend her summers in Maine, with her boys. We wrote long letters to each other almost every day. I looked forward to the mail, and she did as well. When she was back home in Massachusetts, we would phone each other almost every week day, until it was summer, again.
My other sister's husband was in the Army, so I would also correspond with her through letters and post cards, to the many states and countries where they were stationed over the years.
I don't hand write letters, too much, any more. I can type so much faster than my old hands can write. In most cases, it's much more legible and I don't have to look each word up to check the spelling in the dictionary (or write "sp??" beside it if I'm not sure of the spelling!) Spell check and google are my new best friends, as long as auto-correct doesn't kick in with a totally absurd word!
I do send out mail by way of "greeting cards". When I was young, I couldn't afford to purchase cards, so I would buy a bulk package and hand personalize each card, because that was the best that I could do.
Now, as the person in the house, who retrieves our mail, and deals with the sorting and paying of the daily pile of bills, I love to see an envelope addressed to me, that is from a friend or family member just connecting, or saying 'hello'...It's such a nice change from some organization trying to get me to buy or donate.
One of the many things I miss about my late friend was the cards we sent back and forth to one another. This was the cherry on the top of our friendship. We used to get together often, we spoke on the phone several times a week, and we would text silly things to each other while we were cooking dinner for our families...but we still sent out cards.
It started many years ago, early one October, when I saw a photo of an almost naked, gorgeous, hunk of young man on the front of a raunchy joke Halloween card. I knew she would make a comment about it, so I bought it, sent it to her, but signed it "Guess Who", and disguised my handwriting.
I felt bad when she called me, almost in hysterics- because she was creeped out, spooked and scared, asking if I had sent it to her. Right away, I calmed her, admitting to her that I was so very sorry to have frightened her (and refrained from telling her the joke in my head about Halloween being a scary holiday). Once she stopped shaking and calmed down, she got into fun of the card.
From then on, we went back and forth with fun-filthy-sweet-kind-joke cards. She never disguised her writing, I always did, but made sure whatever comment I wrote inside (if it was supposed to be anonymous) made her realize it was from me.
I miss her and her funny, thoughtful cards. I still send out cards to lots of people.
My son, who lives across the country, told me before he moved out there, that he used to love the cards I sent him when he was away at college; so I do make a point to mail cards out to sunny California.
I also send cards to family members and friends, when I come across a special one that might make me think of them. After being made fun of and called a 'crazy card lady', I now only send them to friends I think would appreciate them.
I'm in the process of mailing out family holiday cards to some people who I haven't connected with since last Christmas, but also to some who I see every day.
I'm hoping as they sort through the bills and the junk, that my card will at least make them smile for a few minutes.
12/1/13
