This morning, I decided:
Today is my Rebirthday.
My new life begins today.
I will no longer be subject to other people's presumptions of my responsibilities.
I will no longer be the one in charge of care taking.
This morning was pretty much the same as every other morning
Because of my circumstances,
Everyone just expected me to be in charge
To be the default caregiver
I realized no one had heard my wants
No one listened to my words
As I became resentful
As I became enraged...
I saw that oxygen mask dangling.
As I was blacking out
Because I was placing all the masks in place
On the faces of others
Out of my stoned-like fading consciousness
I recalled the flight attendant's demonstration
The gestures of pulling to straighten the oxygen line
To free the folds and blockages
The recited orders confused me
"Put the oxygen mask on yourself first,
Before helping others"
...What?
"Take care of yourself first"
...What?
The opposite of all I've been raised to do.
Yet, today,
As I started to smother & gasp
In the assumed duty of responsibility
I never chose, but was given
I clumsily tugged that oxygen line
Placed the mask securely on my face
I took a deep breath
In less than a moment
I felt my new life flow
That old spark of hope
Fought its way back to my soul
I got to taste the warm
Wonderful flavor of freedom
And I won't give it up
At any price.
